Family

I often wonder what family is. Webster describes it as "a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head; a group of persons of common ancestry; the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children..." There is nothing in any of those defininitions that denotes affection, that speaks of any form or derivation of love or loyalty, sacrifice or selflessness, all of the things that we attribute to family. If family is what Webster says it is (an incoclusive group of individuals connected by a common ancestory), then why does everyone expect so much? Why do we all feel cheated if we didn't grow up with mommy and daddy right there with us? Why is something other than obssesively ardent affection considered neglectful or grounds for complaint? I have yet to meet a family where one or more of the members doesn't feel cheated, slighted, ignored, used or unapprecitaed. People say home is where the heart is and that home is the one place you should always be able to go to escape from the world and its judgements. Who said that? I'd like to know because in my experience, as a race humans are vastly judgemental aqnd at least moderately vapid. Ergo, everyone is constantly judging and comparing and exusing and condeming and flattering and insulting everyone else. A home is no diffrerent. The hype about family stems from the underlying belief that they are the only ones who really know you, know who you are, the resolve of your beliefs and the quirks that make you you. Sadly, in many cases this is not true. My advice is to try and rid yourself of all of those preconceived notions of family and all of the "should be's" and instead try to appreciate them for what is there rather than resenting them for their "faults". Love them unconditionally but don't rely on them, at least no more than superficially. People have a nasty habbit of not being perfect...and, as much as we would like to put them on a pedastal, overbearing mothers, absentee parents, prying siblings and intrusive family members are people to.